The Pondering Blonde

BPM Mag: Cocoon Ibiza comes to South Africa

Last year Cocoon celebrated 10 years of wrapping clubbers in its twisted little game of deviant House and Techno at Ibiza’s clubbing powerhouse; Amnesia. Cocoon founder, and by all means; leading mad-hatter Sven Vath, took his kingdom across the monumental decade line in style with an all out wicked-carnival themed summer season on the island. There were traffic jams, all-night queues snaking around the venue- this party is the one ultimate must-do when making a trek to The White Isle. In fact; clubbers to the island notoriously plan their vacation around squeezing in two Monday nights at Cocoon!

The inside spectacle doesn’t disappoint; black sequinned dancers- beautiful girls, boys and girlyboys- on podiums and gyrating against the walls above the main floor, a 10 foot Robocop shooting lasers and pyrotechnics from within the crowd, and way up front; The Ringleader, Sven, in a black fedora casually pounding out the slickest beats from the more-then-massive sound system, to a sea of never-been-this-up-for-it clubbers.

His line-up for the season was as usual, a who’s who of Minimal Techno on Planet Earth: Ricardo Villalobos, Loco Dice, Luciano, Richie Hawtin, Nick Curly, Martin Buttrich, Mathais Kaden, Josh Wink, DJ sneak and Tiefschwartz among them. The legend of Cocoon not only lives on strong in 2010, but the brand and ultimate symbol of nightlife disturbia comes to avenge South Africa for the first time this June, with lady of the label, Dinky, headlining. The tour will bring the freshest house and techno to both Johannesburg and Cape Town and forge new ground in SA’s growing Techno-club culture.

THE LEGEND OF VATH

Sven Vath was an intrinsic part of the house scene’s development in Germany, bringing American disco and jacking Chicago house to the curious ears of Frankfurt, where he first bled his passion and initiated his meteoric rise up the electronic chain. Papa Sven fell into his role as the decidedly demonic ringleader and set about creating his platform, a Cocoon themed web, for he and his young muso friends to launch themselves. The Cocoon night in Ibiza, the original Cocoon club in his hometown and Cocoon Recordings have become a world-wide statement in electronic music hotness!

SVEN ON IBIZA: Cocoon is a feeling, it is club culture, event culture is how I see it, for more than 20 years now I was always into creating platforms or networks where people come together to create something. There is no place like Ibiza and thanks to Cocoon; Ibiza is still very interesting when it comes to music. I think with our line-ups we’ve inspired other promoters and the island to evolve music wise in a very positive way, so I guess it is more than ever the true capital of electronic dance music!

DINKYLAND

Female dj’s of the world unite! Joining the ranks of talented lady dj’s and producers, alongside Magda, Anja Schnider, Ellen Allien and Shinedoe is Dinky- and she’s not as sweet as she sounds! Dinky is her very own powerhouse- an original gadget girl, electronic composer and a leader in the second wave of greats to come out of Chile. Dinky’s early years in club culture were spent raving it up with Luciano and Ricardo Villalobos, who set her on a path of techno-laced music loving.

Dubbed ‘The Techno Princess’, she initially followed a career in contemporary dance to New York City before finding herself dj’ing around the city and landing fingers-first in music production. Dinky is now based in Berlin, dating Matthew Styles- both are signed to Crosstown Rebels and often play together- and churning out inspired artist albums and EP’s for labels like Vakant, Traum and Wagon Repair. Her own productions portray her unique ethereal essence, a delving divergence from her driving dj and live sets; but both fuse her compassion for music with soul. Here’s to ladies that love techno!

ON HOW SHE FOUND ELECTRONIC MUSIC: Modern electronic music came to me when I was only 12 years old. My sister was going out with Dandy Jack [of Perlon fame] and living in Berlin at that time. At a family dinner he gave me a CD and I got instantly hooked on this music. It seemed so futuristic for me, compared to what we had in Chile at that time. Thanks to both him and my sister, I would always receive goodies – music from Kraftwerk, DAF, and house tapes from Doctor Motte. And then later on, things like the early Plastikman CD. I was really lucky!

ON HOW SHE STARTED PRODUCING: I guess it came when I was 21 or 22, and I moved to New York. At that time it was really difficult to DJ because the police were really tough. There were no clubs, there were places shutting down, so if I was going to get into music I really wanted to produce. I asked for some advice from people; for example Dandy Jack convinced me to buy a MPC 2000. So I bought that at a very young age and I started to learn that and sampling; it’s a very basic thing!

BPM Life Interview with Rafael Noronha

Rafael Noronha is label boss, feature artist and general guru on all things Lo Kik! Rafael’s enduring journey started 8 years ago and he’s quickly become renowned for his powerful, innovative sets and impressive mixing skills; stealing the limelight at the Brazilian ‘Dj Sound Awards’ in 2005 and 2006. In 2008 he claimed the award for Best Dj and is now considered one of Brazil’s top dj’s.

Besides his solo productions, he’s remixed music for the likes of Glenn Morrison, Gui Boratto, D-Nox & Beckers, Jon Rundell, Andrey Loud, Planet Funk and Utah Saints, together with friend and production partner Re Dupre and does a weekly slot on Energia 97 FM’s Clubtronic radio show, which features the most requested dj’s in the country.

As A&R of RC2 Music Group, which manages Lo Kik Records and Wired Music, Rafael scouts the best up and coming artist from around the country; both labels are dedicated to launching Brazilian talent on a global platform and to the Brazilian e-music market. The company represents one of the biggest and most diverse structures in artistic management and consultancy in Brazil, and is responsible for some of the major electronic music festivals in the country.

FOUR TO THE FLOOR WITH RAFAEL

How did you start the label, and how did you get artists like Gui Borotto to release on it…?
We started the label naturally with the growth of local music production. Working in this industry for a few years and knowing a lot of talented people involved in it, the necessity to show our values to the rest of the world and have a serious and professional work behind it, pushed label’s in the beginning.

Gui Boratto, besides a great artist, is a great friend. He accompanied the growth and maturation of the label and the artists, and the releases came organically from that. The idea to do a release for the first time on a Brazilian label and have 3 Brazilian artists remix was chosen by him and the result was a special and rewarding project!

Tell us a bit about the dance scene in Brazil…
Nowadays we can say that we have one of the biggest dance scenes in the world; many clubs and parties are focused on dj’s performing and the degree at which we’ve progressed can be seen in the amount of international artists daily in Brazil.

Indeed the commercial music still has its predominance but considering the huge territorial extension, electronic music is present in the four corners of Brazil and the various aspects of electronic music all have its own space too. The label is based in Santos, approximately 40 minutes from the Brazilian metropolis, São Paulo city.

How did you start dj’ing and what do you have in mind for the future?
I started playing 10 years ago when I was 17 years of age, but even before that I was always the ‘wrong’ one in the middle of class listening to strange music. For a long time I was just a dj and had a very good market in Brazil and during this time I got a lot of experience with various types of clubs, parties, people, dancefloors… and also had the time to listen to much music.

All this was very important to starting my own music label, I studied music as well, and today I find myself in the future doing what really gives me pleasure, which is working with the music, being in the studio producing, studying, managing Lo Kik and also showing my work at the parties.

Have you ever visited South Africa, and what are you expecting from your trip?
This is something that I’m actually really anticipating. South Africa is a beautiful country and has a history that I have followed since childhood, and while studying. And knowing that I know all this and being able to show my work there fascinates me a lot. And with it also being the year of the World Cup, a very special moment for the country, I hope to get the experience being a Brazilian, hehe; after all we’re the best team in the world of football!

http://www.myspace.com/lokikrecords
http://www.myspace.com/rafaelnoronha

Excuse The Mess Interview with Ralf Kollmann

Where did your musical journey begin and how did you find dance music and the techno sound?
Little Ralf loved to listen to the radio. I discovered special shows that aired Maxi and Instrumental Versions once a week and recorded everything with my father’s old tape machine. I was inspired by his record collection, even though I didn´t understand what this music was about. He had this Krautrock stuff, Kraftwerk of course and some other early experimental synthesizer bands in his collection. I made my first steps in the disco arena when the first techno and house wave developed in the clubs in Germany and other cities, in the early 90’s.

I got my early club lessons in Sven Väth´s legendary Omen Club in Frankfurt. I remember a very special night when Richie Hawtin, Daniel Bell and Speedy J all played together, it blew my mind. I realized then that this was a new movement and a whole new lifestyle for a young generation was created. Wow! Just realized that this was 17 years ago… I started as a passionate Raver and became a passionate Maker- being proud of mobilee and our artists playing a little role in the global techno circus.

Tell us about growing up in Germany and watching the development and evolution of dance music scene- from the front row as it were.
I wouldn´t say that I sat in the front row, cause before Germany was hit hard by electronic dance music there was a house movement in Chicago and Detroit, later the Acid House hype in the UK developing from Manchester… When I discovered clubbing it took a few years before techno became mainstream by the help of Love Parade and Mayday. The Sponsors and Media in Germany followed up with Top 10 Chart Positions- I think it was similar to the huge success of Prodigy and Underworld in the UK. That boosted the original Techno underground in the mainstream market and some vibes got lost of course.

When everybody was used to seeing Techno beats and Euro Dance on Music TV, a new underground developed, around 2000- and that inspired me a lot to dive back into the music thing again; celebrating it, enjoying it, feeling it and finally, starting the label in 2005 with Anja Schneider. It’s great that people who inspired me as a little raver are now colleagues and friends. And I still like to rave of course!

Why is everybody obsessed with Berlin right now?
Berlin is one of the most liberal cities in the world. When it comes to clubbing; Panorama Bar and Bar 25 are known all over the world in reference to Berlin’s Nightlife. Compared to other metropolitan cities, it’s affordable to live here without having three jobs. It’s quite relaxed and the city is a huge creative space. There’s a big density of international Labels, DJ´s and Producers who’ve decided to make Berlin their home. The Sound is defined by international activists who discovered Berlin as an inspiring city to live, make music, go out and have fun- it’s the undisputed epicentre of techno music and it will probably not change in the near future.

You’ve played in many cities around the world, recently playing in New York, Miami, Amsterdam and Dubai, tell us about your travels…
It’s always a pleasure to travel and discover other cities, countries and meet enthusiastic and passionate people. Especially the music we are playing and enjoying ourselves; it seems to connect very special people all over the world. The vibe is similar everywhere… if I am playing in a small wooden hut at a beach or at 5 star hotel club resort in Dubai, the people are interested in the music we are doing.

Barcelona is amazing during Sonar Festival, San Francisco and Los Angeles are my favourite party towns in the US. I have a lot of fun playing in London and also Ekaterinburg in Russia. I must say, it’s a luxury that in Berlin we have the opportunity to party for 24 hours- sometimes it’s sad when the party stops at 3 or 4am, when it was just about to get nasty! But every trip has something unique, and it’s great to if you have residencies all over the world where you make friends and know what to expect when you are coming again.
I’m really looking forward to coming to South Africa for the first time in my life and being the first mobilee dude there!

You’ve been nurturing the mobilee label going on 5 years now, how does it feel to have created this yourself and been part of an international music movement?
Anja Schneider and me started it as a side project five years ago and within a short time it accidently became a full time job for both of us. Every mobilee artists is playing an important role and transporting our vision with every gig and every release. After five years we are more than proud that we created an established platform for talented artists who play all over the world. We started the label at a time when the music market changed completely and that taught us to be flexible and go our own way all the time. It’s important to leave the well-worn path sometimes and try something new and take risks. And we still see ourselves at the beginning with what we started and have ideas and visions for the next years to come.

Mobilee is 5 years old in 2010, what can you reveal the label plans to do to celebrate?
We are just developing the activities for next year. The 5 years anniversary is playing an important role next year and will be the main theme in 2010. We are doing a world tour on five continents in 5 cities each. We will release a very special anniversary compilation featuring exclusive, never-before-heard material from every artist on our roster. This is one celebration you aren’t going to want to miss. We call it “mobilee 5² tour” and it will be showtime! Hope we can make stop in South Africa again next year!

Mobilee is recognised for being on the cutting edge of modern music marketing techniques, tell us about the thought processes behind that…
We are living and acting in a high tech environment. We grew up with internet technology and social networks. It helped us to become popular worldwide without spending multi million dollar budgets in marketing so it’s obvious that we are trying to be on the top with modern music marketing techniques. We just launched a mobilee touch mix application for the I-Phone. The update with 5 new tracks and even unreleased music is available in a few days. We are trying to create a lot of visual content for our artists and exclusive content like mixes and behind the scenes features for our social networks.

It’s very important to keep an eye on what is going on out there. You should always be prepared for sudden changes and embrace new technologies and opportunities. You can cry about how difficult it is to sell music because of illegal downloads, or you can spend this energy finding new ways of distributing your music and using the creative potential of your artists and staff to develop new ventures

Mobilee is also known for its familia vibe amongst artists on the roster, how important is this kind of energy to running a successful label?
That’s part of our label philosophy. We wanted to establish strong and long lasting relationships with our artists from the beginning on. Nowadays you need a strong platform and a strong brand if you want to be recognized as an artist. We are joined forces, building up a strong visual and musical identity, we produce our own event ideas for Sonar

Festival, Winter Music Conference or Amsterdam Dance Event and give our artist as much creative freedom as possible. I think that’s part of our unique standing. We are musically versatile. The mobilee sound is created and defined by our artists and not dictated from above. The personal relationship to our artists is very important. If the personal chemistry is not right we cant achieve something together. We would never release music from someone we don´t like personally, even if it’s the biggest hit we have ever heard in our life.

How would you describe the sound of the label and how has it developed over the years?
It’s essentially just what Anja and I like musically, and this can often vary. We started listening to house and techno a while ago – and we’ve been passionate ravers since the early 90s – so the Mobilee sound is very versatile and primarily defined by our main artists. For us, the most important thing is to release music that makes people dance. Club music is made for the dancefloor – especially 12” releases. When you get down to brass tacks, the whole industry is based on nothing more than moving people’s asses every weekend!

Excuse The Mess with Mobilee Records, South Africa Tour

EXCUSE THE MESS WITH MOBILEE RECORDS
30TH OCTOBER – VOODOO LOUNGE JOHANNESBURG

Excuse The Mess crept onto the scene in 2008 with a secret Party in an empty office space in Central London. Two sound systems, a full bar and over 100 people snuck into the off-limits area on the 9^th floor and danced until the early hours of the morning in front of windows boasting breathtaking views of the city. The mischievous tone was set from the start, with partygoers helping to clean and remove all evidence of the subversive shenanigans at the end; birthing ETM’s etho’s of an underground club night with a cheeky twist.

Early days saw ETM taking to the backrooms of some of London’s favourite nightclubs, and stole the show in the Loft at Egg on New Year’s Eve with sheer good party vibes and spirit. Excuse The Mess became ‘the little party that could’ and set the precedent in 2009 when it bust out its first warehouse party at Corsica Studio’s with 3 international acts; Mymy, Matthew Styles and Ralf Kollmann, charging the room with an illustrious array of deep house and techno.

Excuse The Mess soon had some of the best local dj’s and vj’s vying for a spot behind the decks. Joining London resident’s Nick Maleedy, Russell Caten and The Fix; Ralf Kollmann, co-owner of mobilee Records with Anja Schneider, joined the team as international resident, bringing his fresh-as-hell German techno assault to the ETM Soundscape. In 5 years mobilee Records has become one of the most watched Techno labels in Europe, their artist roster includes the wickedly talented Pan-Pot, who headlined the ETM show in June and lead the packed Alhambra Warehouse in East London into a Berlin-stomping frenzy.

500 Showcase now presents Excuse The Mess to South Africa!

Excuse The Mess residents Ralf Kollmann and Nick Maleedy are bringing the best from their boxes in London and Berlin to make South Africa part of the ETM family this October! Ralf’s presence is as intense as the full bodied-moving minimal techno he plays and is renowned for tight track selection and tighter mixing, flecked with all kinds of tasty unreleased material. Nick’s penchant for deep house, stripped down techno and tribal grooves sees him mix a sophisticated playlist, and playing  alongside some of Europe’s finest including Pan-Pot, Matthew Styles, Thomas Schumacher, Danton Eeprom and Giles Smith.

Exclusive VJ Appearance from Ben Anchor, whose 8 year career in visuals has seen him reside with the CHAIR TV VJ’s crew and perform at Manchesters infamous Warehouse Project alongside the likes of Richie Hawtin, Luciano, Goldie and Justice.

Join us for the first leg of the 3 city tour at the Excuse The Mess Masked Ball at the sacred Voodoo Lounge in Johannesburg for a no excuses deep house and techno indulgence, complimented by the best local dj’s from Johannesburg, Durban and Cape Town.

We ask you in advance to Excuse The Mess

Something Fishy at Pacha

If you do one thing in Ibiza- you have to see Goldfish at Pacha! Pacha seem to be dominating this season with the slew of top notch artists and event nights lining the roster each week- and taking more than a little after-sun glow from some of the supersized and industrialised clubbing abodes- or so the whispering winds tell me. Viva the house revolution!

Goldfish are two classically trained muso’s from Cape Town, South Africa holding down a weekly Wednesday residency on the terrace. Their solid live act sees them mixing their own tracks live and rocking the bones off proper instrumentals at the same time!  Yep, while they’re dj’ing they literally haul out a cello, a saxophone and a flute- well, at least I think it’s I flute- and take turns to serenade the audience over a really afro-grooved house set. – Take a moment to hear it and feel that breeze my friends…

It’s actually the second season the Goldfish boys are running the gamut at Pacha’s while isle HQ. Last year they were signed to Pacha Records- their album Perceptions of Pacha was hailed as a sort of Cafe Del Mar meets Groove Armada soiree- in other words, it’s pretty nice! Already this summer they’ve taken the stage at Glastonbury, Sensation in Amsterdam and Gatecrasher in Birmingham with Australia’s sun-goddess of house, Sarah Main and doused sold-out audiences with their sound!

I’ve seen them live several times and it’s truly a performance to be witnessed! They’re also really cool guys- I think one of them bought me a drink once, although it might have just been water… Anyway- DJ Mag also wanted a piece of the Fish and have featured the boys and a special Dj Mag mix in the August edition- it’s bound to go gold so get involved!

Check out their myspace page for a sneak peak- http://www.myspace.com/goldfishlive

FYI- Goldfish hit London Town several times over the next few months- but next up is Pacha on August 8^th, get you flippers and your favourite faces together- I hope to catch you in the mix!
Little Lexi x

Lady of The House

BPM MAGAZINE 2008

You knew it had to be coming. The feminist in me has been silently bubbling for long enough and I’m now sufficiently irked enough to bring my thoughts on the injustice of the dance industry towards its female compatriots to boil. Here’s to creating toil and trouble!

Before launching into my Mars and Venus tirade about sexism and ignorance I thought I’d do a little research in the interest of democracy. I deployed a little impromptu survey on the ‘gender’ state of SA’s house scene by enlisting a team of random but diversified discodancers to complete one small task: List, in no particular order, you’re top 10 females Dj’s in the country. Oh yes I did! -So glad to have gained your unabated curiosity! The results were very interesting indeed! The names of 5 particular ladies dominated the board, while from 6 onwards the lists became scattered yet more observant – epiphanies if you will- on the lack of female talent (I call it lack of acknowledgement) our equality riddled nation has to offer. It’s a damn shame! If this exercise had been ‘male’ oriented I would no doubt have waited days in anticipation of the respondents whittling it down to only 10!

Dropping the needle on the names, according to my unsanctioned poll our main ladies of the house are: 1. Lady Lea, 2. Erica Elle. 3. Missred. 4. Vanessa Holiday. And 5. Sweet Sarah. Following up with the most repeats and due a mention were Shannon, Amanda, Kirsti, Carmen, Funky B, Deep Candy, Hayley Hunter, DreAma and Sue X. And I’m still leaving out another 15! Nicole Fox received a few votes too… some people are clearly confused!

Now, not that its about numbers but my little experiment nicely depicted what the lady musicians of the dance scene have to endure- from not only the unaffected public but the industry’s apprehensive male counterparts too, who’s resistance to embracing the sisters spinning for themselves only widens the gap of GOLF genocide. Please note: This is not the little boys music club- it’s the whole South African Dance scene and respect from Dj’s, promoters and club owners is utterly lacking. Breaking down the political system very frankly here; a very select few aside, if you’re missing-in-penis-action you’re stigmatised to the perception that you’re only good for mixing a salad. Thus receiving; less pay- your hot tunes are worth less than the next mans; bad time slots- you can play before anyone actually arrives; or worse, given your own special ‘all ladies’ dancefloor- so you can all fuck up together to a smaller audience. Shocking yes, but shamefully true. The DJ boys are also somewhat intolerant, berating the lady Dj’s and their skills. How many give the due credit to the girls who go out there and bust some serious discoballs behind the decks? Why in SA is it any different when, internationally, female Dj’s are iconic and revered? Think Lisa Lashes, Sister Bliss, Colette, Heather, Sarah Main, Miss Jools, Anne Savage and Magda. Any Dj worth his track selection would line up to share the deckspace with one of them. We’d be fools not to be optimistic that such talent exists here too.

Batting for the other team though- sorry girls, we have to play fair- the outspoken few have some valid reasoning behind the discontentment and lack of male industry support.

No more than 5 of the above mentioned SA femmes have given their hands to spinning the production knobs- a very important element to the making and maintaining of a career in the electronic music industry, considering technology advances have made the dexterity of being a Dj child’s play. The market is saturated with ‘I wana be a Dj’ fever- and just as the boys, you need to establish yourself as more than just mixer with a sexy smile. That’s the next cause for wars- whilst all women have the intelligence to tweak their feminine mystique for their personal gain, using blatant sexuality as a sway to ‘make name’ only disputes your genuine talent- and that’s the only wave you should be riding. Recent ‘rumours’ about Dj’s exchanging sexual favours in a bid to get ahead *ahem* are absolutely insulting and unfairly discrediting to every female South African Dj trying to do it the right way. You can’t then be unnerved by the subjective scrutiny of your skills?

Ladies it’s time to step up- the fact you’re trying to impact this industry and stand out, not from the men, but amongst them, is plausible in itself. You have an intellect worth celebrating and an enchanting charisma that gives you the bravado to get up in front of a crowd and make them dance. You have the music to communicate and move people; creating moments they won’t forget (well… alcohol intake pending!). This is what it’s all about! Validation comes through powerful delivery and no-one fails to appreciate that! I know I shouldn’t but I’m going to anyway… Girl Power!

Mr Spencer- Inside The Mind Of A DJ Killer

MrSpencer 2007

Every DJ has a number one fan… and that first night I saw him, I decided I was going to be his. He caught my eye as I was leaving the bar; he’d just dropped one of my favourite tracks, and my having just popped a neat vodka and clutching a cold beer, felt my body being compelled to move towards him, as if suddenly magnetised by the music.

I stopped and watched him from the doorway. There was something incredibly sexy about the way he moved; a strange little twitch as he flipped the switches, a quirky little bob of the head and a slow, confident stroke as he rubbed the vinyl. He licked his lips. I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise as I watched him at work, entranced and aroused. Damn that was good vodka!

I spent the rest of the night on that spot, letting the music assault me with every scratch and spin. The man was talented –an “up and coming”, I heard some one say… Aah, I wondered why I hadn’t noticed you before! I could see how his eyes lit up as the very first beats of each new track sounded through his ear phones. He’d look up at the crowd every now and then; smile, almost shyly and get away with another cocky drop. What was that they said his name was? Something D; Danny, Denny, Devon …? Yea… we like you!

I was still in the club, a dingy black hole in the northern suburbs, when the very last beats of his set played; I watched him, as he slowly and passionately packed his bag and watched him shake hands with the leftovers as he headed towards the door. A gentleman I see… I like that! As he passed me, he nodded his head in recognition and smiled a devilish smile, raising his eyebrows at the same time. Up close, I decided he was quite a beautiful specimen. His features were dark, his jaw; slightly chiseled, but with a home grown, rugged look about him.

He’d already been gone for several minutes when I realised he’d been suggesting I follow him out. I knew he’d been watching me dance all night- he couldn’t have missed me- and why wouldn’t he want to get to know his number one fan? He obviously just didn’t want everyone else to see… See what? Well, if I don’t go, I’ll never know!

I grabbed my bag from where it sat on the speaker behind me, knocking over several empty beer bottles as I did. Wow, who drank all those? I was almost out the door when Sarah grabbed my arm and demanded to know where I was going. My feet were aching and I wanted my bed I told her, faking a yawn. She eyed me almost suspiciously, (or was that just my conscience?), before letting my arm go and hugging me goodbye. She pointed drunkenly at the barman and winked as she went back in. Eew… A barman? Come on…

I couldn’t tell her about him yet- My DJ giving me that look… I don’t have time for her admin- all she’ll do is remind me about the last time. How was I supposed to know that DJ was married? Are DJ’s allowed to be married? Isn’t that like an Idols contestant being pregnant? It wasn’t as bad as you think anyway, I still got what I came for- or the DJ came for- whatever! No wonder his wife is psychotic and insecure! Anyway, he introduced me to his other DJ friend- we started seeing each other for a while- well, I only saw him at clubs- and in the club bathrooms. Hehe … everyone thought I was his girlfriend, it was awesome! The other girls would ask me all these questions- and then the one with the blonde hair and big mouth stole him from me. Bitch.

I walked calmly from the club, and the minute I was out of view, I raced down the stairs and into the parking lot. I looked around in panic- had I taken too long? But several metres down I saw him getting into a dark car. I started to walk over as the car started and reversed out the bay. He flicked his lights on bright for a split second and then roared past me, slick in his Audi like- like nightrider. I stood confused for a second as I watched him brake and idle… Hold on…Is he waiting for me to follow him?

I ran to my car, my heart pounding in my throat, my head spinning and throbbing dully, feeling drunkenly faint, but buzzing with excitement. By the time I pulled out, his car was gone. I sped to the main road, excited at the game he was playing with me- with my head. Fine, DJ boy, we’ll play it your way… lets see where you take me…

At the robots I took a right and immediately regretted it. Shit, what if he went the other way? I put foot and watch as the late night cruisers heading the other direction flash past me like fireflies. A set of red robots looms ahead; several cars are waiting patiently for green… Aha! You can’t lose me that easily mister! I’m suddenly refueled; my hope and energy springs back up to fully charged as I spot his Audi at the front of the pack. The game is on baby! I rev my engine playfully and wonder if he can hear. He must have seen me roll up; he’s probably impressed I got it right! A swift and slightly edgy maneuver of the streets allow me to keep up, I’m pushing my 1400 Corsa like never before- Shummie ain’t got nothing on my moves… I start to wonder what his first words will be when we stop. And I think about those magical, musical hands… on me. I shudder with delight. Will he ask me to dance for him, like at the club, but slower? My hands are getting clammy now. Where are you taking me Mister D? It suddenly occurs to me he might just pull over. But I’m sure we can make it work in the back of that car… hmmm…Moments later he indicates and turns into a complex. I realise I’ve driven all the way to Randburg… I hope I can find my way home later! – Or I’ll just stay over- may as well! The gate’s already closing as I turn into the driveway. Dammit, fuck! I jump out my car and try to stand in front of the sensor to make it reopen. Well, he’ll see I didn’t make it in behind him and come out to get me. Climbing back in the car, I switch my phone onto silent. Imagine Sarah or someone call me in a state at 5 in the morning while I’m rendezvousing with my dirty DJ! The night is still around me and an eerie breeze blows the trees. He hasn’t come out. Must be taking his vinyl bag inside- Shame, it’s such a mission to lug around!

A few more minutes pass. I hoot softly, just a quick beep! Come on love, this is no way to treat a lady! A dog barks down the road. I look at the large looming white walls around the complex and then at the intercom system. Shit, I don’t even know where to go when I’m in! I hoot again softly. Nothing. My heart sinks a little. This guy better not have been fucking with me- because it’s not funny! Another hoot, longer this time. Dogs bark again and a light a few houses in comes on. Aaah, he clicked! Boy, am I gonna make him wait for it now!

Embarrassment and anger starts to set in. No one comes out. Who does this guy think he is? I’m fed up, tired and a long way from home. I want an explanation for this offense! I wait several moments before pushing the buttons on the intercom- houses 1 through 10- just to start. He’s in one of them, that I know! I don’t care anymore; I’m beyond worrying about the neighbours now! Several sleepy voices answer and seem slightly annoyed when I say I’m looking for the DJ. If I knew his name and house number I wouldn’t be standing here you stupid people! I push more buttons. The voices are all yelling and questioning each other. I shout too…

My head is spinning uncontrollably… I can’t believe this! A sudden emotional suge bursts inside me, feeling lost, I begin to sob loudly. Some residents come out the house, I just want to find the DJ I tell them, whilst hanging onto the intercom for dear life. A lady comes, nervously at first, and rubs my back. It’ll be OK, she tells me. I hear music… house music? Is he playing my song? I try to stand- I want to dance! They tell me to stay seated on the pavement. I want to dance I whimper… Listen to the music! Suddenly, everything goes quiet and all that envelopes my ears is the sound of the police siren, getting closer and closer.

Mr Spencer- South Africa’s in The House

MrSpencer 2007

It’s another Saturday night in the City of Gold; there’s that ‘feeling’ in the air again, that energy you cant explain… you’ve just walked into your club of choice; Truth, Sutra, Carfax, or maybe something more Indie; Tokyo Star or Fuel Café- it doesn’t matter as long as you’re there, as long as you’re ‘on the scene’ and getting a dose of those dirty underground beats…

A posse of fellow revelers behind you, and a cold one; resting snugly in your hand as you nod to the beat and survey the dance floor. Your heart begins a dance of its own as you settle into your surroundings and prepare yourself for a sole squeaking session in front of the speakers, yet you still stand on the sidelines, and keep sipping. Sip, sip, siiiip…

You’re waiting; they’re waiting; but you know its coming… Sip, siiiip… And then it happens, the beat you’ve been waiting for breaks and washes over your body like a neurotic wave, you look back…You nod; they nod and you’re off…

Has it ever crossed your mind on one of these ‘another’ nights out, that you might, in fact, be making history? No? Well not surprisingly… no-one goes out with the intent to change the world, unless, of course, you’re Michael Jackson- and even he failed to make it a better place!

Well, neither did your parents when disco infiltrated the country and our very first generation of disco-dancers bopped to ‘FunkyTown’ at Garage Parties in the late seventies. .. But here we are, talking about their good old days- and coining on the fact that one elusive day, our children will be talking about ours… Makes you think huh?

The dance music we shake to today has its roots in disco in the seventies. Don’t believe me? Ask the Austrians who just remixed an entire album of Bobby Brown tracks in tribute to his death last December (God rest his funky soul)- with very little effort. Why? Because the original funkmasters sound was so ahead of its time, we can still rocked to it now, with the greatest of ease! The sound? Synthetic beats, intermingled with Ska-funk, Reggae, some reminants of Jazz and something called ‘house music’. Huh? House Music? Yes my friends, welcome to the roots of our culture! …And you thought you’d get away with merely jumping (and toking) on the fluffy leaves at the top!

What has been undoubtedly dubbed ‘The Decade Taste Forgot”, the 80’s, a torturous decade remembered for bad hair, bad fashion and some seriosuly bad music; (Don’t tell Roxette, the last thing we need is a revival to prove us wrong!), however, brought some interesting electronic ‘new wave’ sounds, and our new boppers latched on like unweaned children; commencing Saturday night fever under the African skies with a electric bang!

Far from the house scene we now take for granted, nightspots South Africa over switched sounds and clubs like The Mix in Short Market Street, Cape Town, a street still holding the fort with underground clubs like Deluxe, were banging house music from German and Italian playlists.

This mass blending of different music and styles created an amalgamation and cross-pollination of cultures; something hugely frowned upon by a country in the midst of its self-deprecating political angst. The apartheid struggle suffocated the development of a creatively burning musical area, instigating the smuggling of music across the racial divides.

Who’d have considered the release of Nelson Mandela from Prison would affect the clubbing scene? But it did- in a big way! In the early 90’s, House music was still very much on the periphery of its development in South Africa, clubbing was disconnected from the ‘dramas’ of its homeland by day and was far from being politically involved, as Hip-hop had become so in the frequenting years. The disbanding of a movement that discriminated against culture gave new legs to the nightlife and literally, opened doors- club doors, as the youth’s, now feeling it their duty to contribute to a free society, joined forces and ‘made music’ together.

While the divide between races wasn’t instantly blurred, it gave way to further growth and development, musically. Far from a form of meager ‘Escapism’ it was something positively influencing the nation; a coming to terms with reality as such! Hell, it sounded amazing, if I hadn’t been 10 and pretty much unaware of what we were ‘coming to terms’ with, I would have got involved myself! This ‘opening of arms’ in Mother Africa gave way for huge developments in house music; the scene peaked drastically and then matured to segment into Progressive House, Hardhouse, Breakbeat and Techno amongst other genres. The hip-hoppers got their foot in the house too and created their own cross over; Kwaito and a unified Rave culture swept the 90’s as the AWB dashed for the hills of Oranje.

Growing at the speed of light, both musically, and as a way of life, clubbing and house music connected a youth that for years had been forced to grow apart but who weren’t too ignorant to blend and see past the bent decisions of our earlier generations… Aaah, The New South Africa!- Proof enough that music dissolves barriers and heals social fractures. Moving swiftly into the ‘New’ millennium with the aid of technology, the EDM industry has and continues to grow at the most rapid rate of any music genre ever! And as we too, ever growing, continue to party and see this dance world of ours develop, we can be sure to not miss a single thing! We are living our Goldens years right now baby!

Next time your out there, dancing in your little bubble over the South African landscape, your bodies; mere physical entities housed safely in that club on the ground below, take a moment, or two and acknowledge the power and symbolism of your actions- that’s history in the making baby! It may be somewhat less politically motivated, but culturally, and subculturally, it’s a force to be reckoned with and recorded. We’re all in the same House now!

REFERENCE: The Unofficial History of South African Dance Culture, David Robert Lewis, Media Head Shop, 2006

Mr Spencer- Fornication Vacation

MrSpencer 2007

We take you on a quickie around the world and dip into the cookie jars of some seriously liberated sexuality. There’s no reason to be missing in action when Sex sells in the cities this fast!

With society becoming more liberated and hedonistic, a whole new market has been discovered and developed to cater for changing lifestyle wants and needs. Pushing one’s sexuality to the extreme and sampling the er… juices of the world; sexual trends are receiving more publicity then ever before, opening the realms of some very interesting new business ventures. And while not actively pushing the ‘loose’ button and creating a world of sexual chaos- these businesses are marketed discreetly- to those who can appreciate the experience beyond a mere sexual encounter. Put simply- whatever you’re into; you can get it- at a price! Gone are the days of Edward and his endless sex drought- even Eddy can get action, and if he books today, he’ll get a 20% discount and breakfast the next morning!

Art Expeditions, Cuisine Cruises, Health Retreats and Vintage Voyages are a thing of the past- Sex Tours are increasingly becoming the extravagance of choice among the new generation of jet setters. Good Foreign Travel Packages (now there’s a nice concept on its own) can include accommodation, nightclub passes, sex with quality women, breakfast, dinner, alcohol and you’re very own personal tour guide- who’ll uncover every nook and cranny of your sexual cravings. Destinations of offer include Ibiza, Australlia, India and Asia. Did you say you’ll have one Sex on The Beach? Cuming right up!

IBIZA

“The island between the sky and the sea” is renowned for its incredible nightlife and gorgeous, scantily clad women. Over 250 000 tourists from Britain alone make a beeline for the White Isle between June and September each year; the sophisticated, hip, rich, young, and beautiful commence in an indulgent fiesta of sun, sea, sex and shindig. Described as the closest thing to paradise, finding Fornicationers in Ibiza isn’t difficult- that’s why they are here (oh yes- and the music!)! The only thing you need fork out for is the club entrance, cocktails and condom stash- unless there is something seriously wrong with you- the sex should flow as freely as the house music. One in four men and one in seven women have sex with more than one partner on an average 10 day stay- and don’t be surprised to see couples openly reveling in their sexcapades in public view- on the beach, outside the clubs and in hotel passages; clearly when the moment takes you- get taken! Whispers from Ibiza alludes to some seriously sexy private parties and if you’re privy enough to be on these exclusive guestlists, expect the islands most beautiful, romping lavishly to the beats of the world best DJ’s. Unfortunately, I’m still looking for the sign up form- but I’ll be sure to pass it on when I do.

LONDON

Looking for loving in London? Over 8000 women work as prostitutes around the tea-and-cucumber-sandwiches city and word on the street is- Soho, in the centre of London’s West End, is thee place to go if you’re looking to tap everything but you feet. Soho is famous for its clubs, bars, restaurants, sex shops, record stores and being the home of London’s main Gay village. But don’t let the flamboyancy of the Pink Pound put you off- if the nastiness you’re looking for is more feminine, Soho has been the heart of London’s sex industry for 200 years- its streets are a conveyor belt of good times- from the naughty shops; Agent Provocateur sells lots of nice things to play with, to the brothels, saunas and massage parlours- servicing your every need from tip to toe! Bear in mind, this is not promoted in the vein of European Midnight Mudwrestling with Heidi and Mia- so you’ll have to be discreet, or mum might now be so forthcoming with the bangers and mash when you get home!

AMSTERDAM

Has the red light been switched on upstairs? Because now we’re in serious business; leave your morals at the door my friends- Welcome to Amsterdam! Servicing the personal needs and desires of locals and visitors for five centuries- that’s 300 years up on London’s So-hole!- what is known as The Redlight District in Amsterdam boasts an array of pubs, cafes and coffeeshops- and we’ve heard about those coffeshops- which successfully lure you to linger longer- and longer. And lets be honest- there’s a lot to see here; rumour has it window shopping in Amsterdam has never been so satisfying! You’ve never seen Men line up at the chance to peer into a few well lit storefronts like you do here!

The hoertjes behind the glass (yes, that’s dutch for hookers) run the gamut from young and beautiful to grandmotherly and almost revolting, and are completely legal and regulated by the government –they have Medical Aid and a bloody union- for when they need to get rowdy with the government. And they’re more than happy to get rowdy with you. 50 Guilders – the equivalent of R200 is all you need lay down for a single 20 minute session. It may sound like a quickie but being that men generally get ‘Kid-In-A-Candy-Store’ Fever, you’ll need the intervals.

Basically, Amsterdam is the capital of porn- their tolerant attitudes towards prostitution, soft drugs and pornography are the acceptance of the fact that it’s in human nature’. How nice! There’s more sex in this city than you can shake a bong at and when you’re tired, you can choose to watch instead; sex theatre’s like the Casa Rosa and Banana Bar are legendary for their erotic live sex performances and encourage audience participation- should you get a second wind! Their prominent Club scene too hosts some ‘performance art’ erotica on their stages and things are known to get wildly out of hand- both on stage and the dancefloor! Remember though- safe sex rules- the hoe’s expect a glove before you buy their love and always be a gentleman, the ladies are more than willing, so there’s no need to get frisky!

SOUTH AFRICA

A recent proposal to legalise prostitution for the 2010 Soccer World Cup could see liberation in South Africa turned on it’s head. Though protesters are appealing with great fervor at the mere thought, my thinking on the topic goes like this: An influx of millions of tourists- mostly men- spending several weeks boozing in the African sun are going to want to complete the experience by dipping into our melting pot of culture. I for one am not going to stand being harassed by drunken Poms into handing over free ass- thus the creation of a ‘Red Light’ district for the fans enjoyment post match, might not be such a bad idea- given the governments involvement sees the women are educated and protected- as it is in Amsterdam. Aah, for the happiness of foreign sex-buying men! The notion strikes positive for adjusting many other archaic South African mentalities- which will be interesting to watch unfold from the sidelines!

But before you got off thinking this is all for the satisfaction of the caveman (hear his mighty roar!), I’ll have you know the ladies are also getting their labour of love. Female Sex Tourism is on a modern rise and sees British and Eurpoean women in particular vacationing in the direction of serious desire- think The Caribbean, Thailand, India and our very own Kenya and Ghana! Oh yes, they’re loving the chocolate skin! Female sex tourism differs from male sex tourism in that women do not use bars, sex shows and formal tours to meet foreign men- they find their local’s on the beach and enjoy torrid affairs which see the beach boys being paid in clothes, meals, cash and gifts- in some countries they do it for free! These male prostitutes will stay with the women for the duration of her trip and dedicate time to full filling all her ‘foreign romance’ fantasies. Both are more rewarded and satisfied as a result- it’s an intense sexual connoisseurship! And shouldn’t that be what it’s all about?

Money may make the world go ‘round but sex makes it spin! When it comes to sex and more importantly, buying sex, remember- you get out what you put in! Happy Holidays!