The Pondering Blonde

BPM Mag Interview with DJ Sasha

Sasha came into being during the era of Manchester’s iconic Hacienda days. Pioneering the Northern Soul sound and jumping head first into the Acid House movement, Sasha transformed The DJ Life as we know it today with a relentless progressive grace and a partner-in-crime-called Digweed. One would think the man who gave Renaissance Recordings gold status and Global Underground it’s 90’s cool would be too big to tweet ,but that’s exactly where our banter kicks off, after catching wind of a live Twitter interview with one of Ibiza’s well known bloggers the day before we chat.

‘It was pretty good, I’d never done an online interview like that before- the interview (by @Blogibiza) was for Pacha magazine, which is published annually each season in Ibiza. -I’m booked to play several times there this summer.’ Does he like being on top of new marketing and communication trends? ‘I was a bit slow on the upstart to get involved with some of these social networking channels to be honest, I thought it was a lot of people telling everyone lots of trivial things about themselves, and was kind of mundane, but I’ve found it to be a really great way to communicate directly with fans- I can tell them what I’m up to, what I’m listening to- and what I’m eating every now then. ’ [laughs]

A big Football fan, Sasha’s tour to South Africa in July coincides with the final week of the World Cup and he’s keen to get involved and catch a few games while he’s here.  I teasingly ask about England’s performance in the Finals so far and he’s quick to jump into a well-opinioned discussion about the team and various players. ‘Well, I hope they can get their heads together in the next game and click; it would be great to see England still in the running while I’m out there. Really great that I got booked to play in SA over the World Cup- I’m excited to come and be part of it!’

Sasha’s last album, Involver Volume 2 on Global Underground came out in 2008 and the dance world is undoubtedly waiting with bated breath to see in which direction he’ll lead the dance culture heathen next. ‘Yes, I’ve been making new tracks and have a load of new music that I’ve already been playing out at the clubs and festivals… so good news; I’ll have lots of fresh stuff to play out in SA. In terms of releasing an album, I’m not sure when or whether it’ll be full of big, banging club tracks or something a little different, we’ll see…’

Sasha has always been a purveyor of progressive dance and has stood by the darker European house sound from early on in his career. ‘It’s important to believe in your sound. Over the years I’ve trained my ear and honed a certain musical taste.’ His reputation with the older dance heads to this affect is unwavering, although recent years have seen him indulge a more housey tip with elements of electro, breaks;  essentially breaking out of his ‘proggy’ pigeonhole,  inspired by the likes of, Leftfield, UNKLE, BT and more recently James Holden, Tiefschwartz and Swayzak.

Having discovered the likes of BT and James Zabiela, I ask how it is he has such an eye for spotting talent, his management agency Excession is one of the biggest in the world today and manages a top selection of electronic music artists. ‘I don’t know, I suppose they had some kind of X factor or wanderlust; James was so full of energy and so driven, both by the music and how to make it. There are a lot of good dj’s, but they need to have that hunger and desire, be able to make the leap from being a bedroom dj to playing in front of 5000 people. Also, not everyone is cut out for the party lifestyle. There’s a lot of pressure, long nights and of course, a lot of time spent on your own away from home.’

Although notoriously shy about his personal life, I ask how he’s got on, living the ultimate party lifestyle? ‘I’m married and have a little boy, yes you definitely need a strong woman to handle and understand the pressures of this career and I definitely have a one behind me. Over the years I’ve lived quite a nomadic lifestyle- between London, New York, Amsterdam for a bit as well and many airports feel like homes at times. I still have an apartment in New York but I’ve settled in London now.’

To wrap up, I ask what he’s up to this weekend, as you do.. ‘I’m playing at Glastonbury festival this weekend; we’re doing a special Vortech Lighting Show, which I’m really excited about! I only hope that everyone comes to check it out and are not holed up in a pub somewhere, drinking beer and watching the World Cup!

BPM Mag: Pacha Ibiza in South Africa with JP Candela

PACHA: THE CHERRY ON TOP!

There’s something about Pacha; the way the word rolls off your tongue, the provocative allure of its iconic cherry logo or how its reputation as the most decadent club experience precedes it. Pacha oozes a superior clandestine club culture that only the privy, all seeing walls inside could ever truly regale. Each night at the club is a delicious topical sea of sight, sound and sexuality- the proverbial orgasm of clubs, as it were, and in June 2010, Pacha brings all its blissful hedonism to South Africa!

Pacha party perfection took off on the white isle of Ibiza many gorgeous summer moons ago. The club became a nightlife mecca and the brand has since blossomed into an empire, emblazoning cities like London, New York, Spain, Germany, Brazil and even the more obscure Egypt, Morocco and Russia with its cheeky cherries and suggestive electronic pull.

Some of the most infamous club nights have made Pacha their home, David Guetta’s F**k Me, I’m Famous party, Erick Morillo’s Subliminal night and more recently Swedish House Mafia hosted by Steve Angello, Axwell and Sebastian Ingrosso. Dj Sarah Main was one of their early discoveries, whose since found global success as their brand ambassador and resident blonde bombshell dj. Pacha also boasts the best team of club dancers on the planet- Steve Lawler even said so!

A testament to their knack for knowing what incredible performance is all about; Pacha can be credited with seeing the potential in SA’s live electronic act, Goldfish and throwing them by the tail onto the global stage, and we have no doubt their chosen headliner, Guetta’ protégé, JP Candela will alight South Africa’s Spanish delight when he headlines Pacha’s first South African tour during the World Cup!

INTERVIEW WITH JP CANDELA

You’ve been a resident at Pacha Madrid for 6 years, how did you get discovered by Pacha?
I used to work at small underground clubs until Pacha Madrid invited me to open a small lounge inside the club. This space was a great success, so they thought it would be great to close the lounge and get me playing at the Main Room. I said yes, of course. Every time I recall my time at Pacha Madrid I think of it as an amazing period of my life; nights were magical… I still go there to play, once a month.

Tell us about the House Music scene in Madrid and how did you get involved?
As a main European capital, its house music scene is solid and varied. This city has given birth to dj’s such as David Penn, Dj Chus and Wally López; these are examples of the rich movement of this gender of music in Madrid.
Since I was very young I felt deeply devoted to electronic music; I used to listen to it and decided that what I really wanted to do was to play it and create it. I love to test different sounds, my sessions are very eclectic. This is something that motivates me more than anything else: different styles mixed all together (electronic, pop, rock, etc).

You run your own successful club night, Heiress that has become quite popular with local and visiting celebrities? Heiress is a party I´ve been organizing for four years; it´s now in a pause because I´ve been focused in my productions and remixes, as well as the tours for Pacha Ibiza, but I´m willing to continue it once I´m stabilized. The truth is these parties have been a great success since the beginning: celebrities like Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Hugh Grant, Kevin Spacey, Bruce Willis, Pedro Almodovar and sports people like Nadal, Ronaldo, Guti, Fernando Torres, Iker Casillas have all come to hang out. It’s been great!

As a brand ambassador for Pacha, you’ve get to travel around the world, tell us about life under the banner of the world’s most famous cherries?
I consider myself very lucky to be one of the artists involved in this brand, the most outstanding of all nightclubs worldwide. It’s also a guarantee of working in the best clubs, best professionals and the best audience anyone could desire. It’s an amazing experience

Have you ever hooked up with one of the infamous Pacha dancers?
No… And if I did, I wouldn´t say it either… My girlfriend is also my press assistant and she´s right here by my side giving me the eye, hahahaha! Anyway, all of them are great friends of mine.

Have you played at every Pacha in the world, and are they all as amazing as Pacha Ibiza?
No, I haven´t played in all of them yet. I usually play on Pacha tours which are not always Pacha clubs, but other clubs. I´ll be visiting Brazil soon and playing in several there… I think all the Pacha clubs worldwide share the essence, but Pacha Ibiza is unique. This can only be explained once you are there!

You have a remix on David Guetta’s new EP Memories; what it was like collaborating with Guetta?
The truth is it´s been incredible to collaborate with a big name such as Guetta; this is the most important thing that has ever happened to me as a producer. Pete Tong has supported this remix, this has been amazing because his radio show is a reference around the world.

Who is the one music artist you would love to collaborate with?
My favourite band is Depeche Mode… It would be smashing to remix one of their tracks. But there are many artist I´d love to work with; I´m currently new originals and remixes for other big artists will see the light mid-year. And next year I’d like to do my first artist album.

Your football team is Real Madrid, are you excited about being in South Africa over the 2010 World cup?
Sincerely, when Mark called me to tell me I´d be going to South Africa at the time of the World Cup I jumped! It will be the first time Spain will be so near of achieving a World Cup. Besides, South Africa is one of the trips I´ve always wanted to make.

Are you going to be able to watch your team Spain play while you are here?
That would be my dream; I think it will be hard to get some tickets, but I´m already working on it… It would be very exciting, indeed. I can’t wait- big hugs and see you in South Africa soon!

‘Pacha is the premium club brand hands down! They know what they’re doing when it comes to putting on a party. When you first walk into the club, the feeling is just electric- they have their own special x-factor, I don’t know what it is but  this is the real deal! Pacha coming to South Africa is just awesome and we’re really excited. JP Candela is one seriously hot dj, we’ve played with him a few times, once was the very first time we played at Pacha in Madrid and he was super cool- we rate him. And we can’t wait!’ ~ Dominic Peters, Goldfish

Goldfish Submerged Sundays: View From The Goldfish Bowl

Goldfish once again captivated audiences around the world with their quirky instrumental and afro-influenced electronic act this summer. The duo; Dom and Dave, also known as ‘The Fishies’ or ‘Still Cape Town’s Hottest Export’- yes that’s right, raced their own tails around the map with gigs in the UK, Russia, Italy, France, Switzerland, Egypt, and Brazil while tuning their instruments at the base camp of their annual residency on the Balearic Island of Ibiza. Their journeys saw them taint festivals and dancefloors with inspiring energy and a golden glow that is never soon forgotten…

My maiden voyage to the White Isle was Fishy from the start; with my bum in Goldfish butter I went in, notebook and pen in hand, ready to write scandalous notes and send perfectly blurry snaps to Heat magazine about the deservedly revolting high life they were living. I mean, surely? But what I got was better- witnessing Goldfish on tour from the front row and realising the boundless ambition it’s taken to get them there, and of course; my very own Perception of Pacha!

Holding down two impressive residencies on the island this year, Goldfish played weekly at The Blue Marlin, a cooler than cool beach club which lures its punters in from their yachts on the bay. Dom and Dave took centre sundeck each Thursday and indulged a free-flow performance, incorporating loops, cuts and vocals from some of their favourite music into their usual self-produced sets. The crowds applauded this rare and pleasant Goldfish sound experience by grinding designer heels into sun beds and punching champagne glasses into the air. It hindsight, it would probably have been rude not to…

Pacha, with its infamous and iconic cherry signage is one of Ibiza’s best nightclubs, and after sampling the fruits of the others on offer, I announce with glee, my own favourite too. Sure, I went four times in a week and witnessed Goldfish billed alongside electronic heavyweights Erick Morillo, Sander Kleinenberg and Faithless- the Ibiza equivalent of milk and sugar in your tea without asking. But really, it was the amicably charged atmosphere and feel good guarantee that made it the best place to party.

Rupturing the rocky, jungle like expanse of the The Main Room or stealing the crowd away into their chasm in the Global Room; this is where Goldfish brought their full Fishy assault; remixing their impressive production list live, and layering it with signature lashings of sax and a bit of double bass. The whole club would gallantly groove onto their refreshing tip and the duo no doubt lauded a precedent for live performance on the island, etching memories into the ears of everyone lucky enough to catch one of their sets.

Ibiza is a totally surreal existence; the world’s most beautiful people congregate on the most beautiful beaches and glaze their bodies to perfection by day, inevitably; reason enough to party up a storm and gyrate in unison by night.  This is the life! If it were me, I’d have a Pharel Williams lookalike topping up my pimp cup! But the Goldfish boys don’t get caught up too much in the superlatives of island life; after winding up cables and easing instruments back into their cases, the duo chase surfable waves, fish off the rocks and attempt to master the perfect seafood paella. A steady stream of their many friends and family drop in to soak it all up with them and therein lies the crux of their success: The real deal is the only deal.

And this is still their opening act. Goldfish have grown from a local South African outfit to an international sensation; exuding the effortless quality of globally recognised dance artist’s night after starry night and even piquing the interest of superstars Maxi Jazz and Sister Bliss, who made an early appearance with entourage to catch their sunset set at the infamous Cafe Mambo in Ibiza before their own big gig at Pacha. Not many people can say Faithless has come to watch their show! With their tour schedule still working the last of its 09 magic and a remix album about to launch South Africa’s soundtrack to summertime, its best to advise you to hold tight; the current is riding strong with this one and these boys are going upstream all the way!

Don’t Mind The Gap, Get Innit

Remember the day’s people went on a Gap year, returning with enough dosh to put a deposit on a house or buy a new car? Well, it’s likely those people never left their grotty flat share and ate baked beans on toast every day; kinda useless when you have one of the maddest, interesting cities at your fingertips! If you go overseas you’ve got to experience it and get your nails into the awesome, dirty, sexy culture and live it up! Well, in my almost 2 years as a party-chasing Saffa in London, I certainly did try! Here’s a scratching-the-surface summary of life on the nightshift in London Town.

London really is a melting pot of incredible culture. But you can’t sit in Wimbledon aka Little South Africa expecting it to come to you- you have to chase it and get involved. A round up of our regular (not necessarily all at once!) nocturnal team included several South Africans, a Brazilian, an Italian (and sporadically; her loud Italian entourage), a lone-ranging Turk, a couple of Aussies, two Spaniards, an American, a Welsh lass, and a good dozen curious Brits, among them! It’s a truly incredible thing to be surrounded by so many different people and never a dull moment on a night out!

It has to be said, South Africans aren’t the most stylish bunch; Saffa’s are more likely to spend cash on going out and getting hammered than on new threads, but this is a good thing… We just don’t look as good doing it. The locals are pretty lekker and accept- no, welcome- raving travellers who adopt their city and dancefloors- contrary to belief that they’ve been sulking about immigrants for decades (Those old farts moved to Cornwall ages ago anyway!) But as they say, everyone leaves eventually, and while it’s a bummer for residents to watch international friends come and go; when it comes to the London clubbing community at large, this constant shift and new energy is what keeps UK dance culture so alive and well!

The core club scene, aka those deemed the coolest club kids of all by no-one in particular- they’ve just danced up the year-miles to prove it, is actually kind of small when you elbow your way right into the thick of it- everyone knows everyone and supports everyone. And so you just have to go and party at everyone’s party every weekend- it would be rude not to. (No mean feat I tell you!) When they know you, they put you on the guestlist, let you skip the queue and coat check your stuff for free. It’s the little things that make it home, right?

If you’re still clubbing at Pacha and Ministry of Sound 6 months into your London Life it’s safe to say you probably couldn’t find the underground in a mine shaft- but hey, maybe next time you can tickle the Deadmau5 pantomime behind his ear even? Okay, big room shows are great, and the underground is not without its massive warehouse parties, but there’s nothing like an intimate shindig with your favourite dj just metres away- you can even pinch his bum if you want to… I’m just saying!

Experiencing The End before it closed and witnessing the power of its era in dance music history sucked me right in. I entered a world that crossed the border of Recreational clubbing into the 24/7 realm of Professional Party People. A community ‘headspace’ that speaks EDM- discussing venues, promoters and releases in beats per minute; the same way you might natter to your girlfriend about your day at work, the traffic and what’s for dinner. It’s something else entirely and privy to a well-networked and thriving music scene- totally worth trading your collection of pictures of The Queen to experience first ear and foot! London, you sexy vicious bitch; to be continued…

BPM Mag Interview with Erick Morillo

There’s only one question I can ask Erick Morillo when I finally get him on the line, ‘Dude, you are living the dream- how does it feel?’ It’s taken two days and two trips to Defected HQ to get him on the phone; ‘It’s his first day in Ibiza and he’s on his yacht- with some girls,’ -and he basically can’t get to the phone- or so his people tell the Defected people, who tell me. Villa’s, yacht’s and shiny disco balls; man, its tough being at the top!

Erick Morillo really does live it up in style- P.Diddy ain’t got nothing on this man, I’m telling you!- but then, he’s worked his ass off to get there and still is one of the hardest working artists in the business. Erick lives on world-wide gig rotation, produces up a storm, pops out record-breaking albums and has just kicked his record label, Subliminal, back into action after a two year hiatus. Hell, I hope those girls lathered him in sunscreen and fed him chilled fruit with a spoon!

Morillo’s ready for my call the next day and he’s back in business mode, doing last minute preparation for his opening night at Pacha that evening where he presents the labels awakening with a banging launch party for Subliminal Sessions Summer 09. The Erick-mixed, double disc album promises to entertain you with an invigorated subliminal sound and is already receiving rave reviews. ‘This is my new favourite compilation to date, its balls to the floor and sexy!’ He says.

Erick put the label on hold when digital download took the world by chaotic storm- a clever move that possibly saw him save face where other labels lost strength during the trepid technology transition. ‘The music business was in a bit of a flux, nobody knew what was going on, people were downloading music for free everywhere. I made a decision to slow things down as it just didn’t feel right and album sales weren’t good.’

He’s now gone into partnership with Strictly Rhythm and Defected Records, Erick’s label home for years before he started up Subliminal in 1997. ‘I love what Defected has done the last three or four years, they’ve become one of the greatest imprints around the world and Mark Finkelstein, on Strictly Rhythm, has been my business mentor for many years. It just works and we’re back on track.’

To answer my first question; ‘Yes I’m living the dream- it’s really unbelievable that after all these years I’m still doing this, and enjoying myself, so I’m really grateful.’ He tells me, and sweetly apologises. ‘I was having lessons on my boat!’ Morillo doesn’t think the world economy is going to stop party-chasers from getting their sun, sea and disco this year and is looking forward to a great summer on the island.

This year’s theme is ‘Be Bad’ and Erick is all about bringing out the bad-ass in everyone at his weekly Wednesday residency under that red-cherried roof. ‘It’s about forgetting about all the problems in the world, coming in, closing your eyes and letting go. It’s really cheeky- like when you’re doing something you know you not meant to but it just feels so good!’

And Erick knows all about that- I ask him about his favourite not musical indulgence; ‘Well, I’ve recently been enjoying playing Backgammon.’ He says, ‘Backgammon and sex.’ And with that he’s off to ignite Morillo mania on the dancefloor, a very bad boy indeed!

Something Fishy at Pacha

If you do one thing in Ibiza- you have to see Goldfish at Pacha! Pacha seem to be dominating this season with the slew of top notch artists and event nights lining the roster each week- and taking more than a little after-sun glow from some of the supersized and industrialised clubbing abodes- or so the whispering winds tell me. Viva the house revolution!

Goldfish are two classically trained muso’s from Cape Town, South Africa holding down a weekly Wednesday residency on the terrace. Their solid live act sees them mixing their own tracks live and rocking the bones off proper instrumentals at the same time!  Yep, while they’re dj’ing they literally haul out a cello, a saxophone and a flute- well, at least I think it’s I flute- and take turns to serenade the audience over a really afro-grooved house set. – Take a moment to hear it and feel that breeze my friends…

It’s actually the second season the Goldfish boys are running the gamut at Pacha’s while isle HQ. Last year they were signed to Pacha Records- their album Perceptions of Pacha was hailed as a sort of Cafe Del Mar meets Groove Armada soiree- in other words, it’s pretty nice! Already this summer they’ve taken the stage at Glastonbury, Sensation in Amsterdam and Gatecrasher in Birmingham with Australia’s sun-goddess of house, Sarah Main and doused sold-out audiences with their sound!

I’ve seen them live several times and it’s truly a performance to be witnessed! They’re also really cool guys- I think one of them bought me a drink once, although it might have just been water… Anyway- DJ Mag also wanted a piece of the Fish and have featured the boys and a special Dj Mag mix in the August edition- it’s bound to go gold so get involved!

Check out their myspace page for a sneak peak- http://www.myspace.com/goldfishlive

FYI- Goldfish hit London Town several times over the next few months- but next up is Pacha on August 8^th, get you flippers and your favourite faces together- I hope to catch you in the mix!
Little Lexi x

Summer, set, go!- Ibiza kicks off!

Beautiful music people are pretending to work and have serious discussion about the future of electronic music in Ibiza this week- with even Richie Hawtin grabbing the mic in IMS honour! But the rest of the island really is hard at work, prepping for the summer season to officially open with a bang this weekend! And in true island style, it can only be but with a fine smattering of the best in the business getting behind the wheels to welcome the dense mass of people, perspiration, music, and madness for the next four months. Here’s a little round up of some of the coolest parties on the island this weekend:

For all the licensing and late-night lawful fracas the party town has had to endure in recent months- threatening its reputation and the livelihood of those that live there; the IMS conference- now in its second year- seems to have shaken the right hands and has hooked up an open air party at the Ibizan Town Hall on Friday night. Basement Jaxx dominates, with Pete Tong, Rob Da Bank and Filthy Dukes all thrown in for good measure, and promises to be a festive soiree to start things off in style!

Pacha kicks off in all its party purity on Thursday night with Sebastian Ingrosso and Andy Baxter; we love a little Swede in Ibiza but really, everyone’s looking forward to Pacha on Saturday when Defected In The House launches their weekly Saturday extravaganza. The line-up is too hot for words, with ATFC, Simon Dunmore, Miss Divine, Junior Jack and Kid Creme at the helm. Word is house legends David Morales and Frankie Knuckles will be popping in throughout the season to keep everyone on their toes as well!

And then The Zoo Project gets wild once again in the islands Old Abandoned Zoo- a sanctuary of a venue if there ever was one!- with an alternatively deep underground offering; DC10’s Jose De Devina heads up the night with Nina Gorji and Madame Tina, and sound support from the likes of Jonathan Tena, Defex and Clint Lee. Dance Trippin TV will be in with the cameras and they specifically make note that animals are welcome! Indeed!

If you’re not there just yet, don’t you worry; this is only the beginning! We’ll also be sure to bring you more white isle musing as it happens- keep your eye on the disco ball!

Little Lexi x

Pure Pacha with D Ramirez

Those cheeky red cherries have been at it again- lining up an artist ensemble set to revolutionise your Saturday Night out. Pure Pacha is all about the dancing itch, musical glitch, glamour, aspiration and escapism, defining an unprecedented quality club night. This July 18^th, Pure Pacha steals a moment away from the White Isle to present a sexy smattering of the world’s best bring-bringers for one extravagant night of sultry summer bliss in London.

Never one to shy away from making a noise, Pure Pacha presents D. Ramirez, The Hoxton Whores , I:AM DJ’s and a special reunion set from the Ninja Cowboys; an unquestionable bevy of the electronic artists catching ears and moving feet around the world with slick live sets and sound productions.

D. Ramirez
D. Ramirez is one of those artists truly wired to the machine. His presence in the dance music industry has seen him become the iconic silver soldier of electronic music, exploding onto the scene and taking clubland by storm many moons ago. Ramirez is known for his penchant for firey electro and razor sharp productions, which when unleashed on unassuming dancefloors around the world, causes body riots that fill the D with glee. His slick deliverance and precision mixing give him an entertainer’s licence behind the decks and make him one to check on the live experience list of discerning clubbers and music lovers.

Ramirez was awarded Best Remix and Best Producer in DJ Magazine’s 2007 awards and 2006 saw him knighted as a Player Of The Year in iDJ. Tracks like Columbian Soul’, ‘Time Fades Away’, ‘Pleasure Me’ and ‘La Discotek’ reached top chart spots and have been championed by the biggest dj’s in the game. A new chapter in his sound assault, Ramirez’s recent studio move has inspired an audio rejuvenation. His latest sets have seen him chunk up his soundscape with the tough-talking, deep house and techno sounds currently shaking the shingles of the dance music industry. You haven’t done it until you’ve done it with D.

The Hoxton Whores
The Hoxton Whores are Britain’s electronic- musical equivalent to the Union Jack. Having toured extensively through the UK, Europe and the borders beyond, they unequivocally boast an energetic, positive and responsive progressive dance sound, which has seen them collaborate and remix with some of the best including Deep Dish, Faithless, Moloko and Todd Terry. Over the past decade they’ve owned the Beatport charts and embarked on a round trip to stamp the world with their Whore House sound. They always bring it back home and give their Big Smoke audience a solid dose of the Hoxton spirit they set them off in the first place.

I:AM DJ’s
The I:AM Dj’s  burst onto the London scene in 2007 and have been making worthy soundwaves both behind the decks and in studio. Pledging a fresh breed of electronic artistry, their silky production skills and uplifting dj sets have put them front and centre as one of the most exciting acts in electronic music right now. Their music is being played as far afield as LA, France, Germany and Portugal, and receiving a double thumbs up from the likes of Miky Slim, D. Ramirez and Seamus Haji. I:AM DJ’s made their Miami WMC debut earlier this year and seriously set the stage for things to come.

Ninja Cowboys
The Ninja Cowboys are the powerful merger of Cozzie D, Johnny Mikes and Mark Storie, and came to life through a long term residency at the Kidology club nights at Aka. The trio set up Dirtbag Records and flung out a host of too hot for words tracks that set them on worldwide adventures into the electronic abyss and playing alongside the cream of the underground electronic crop. All three rock incredibly sound solo careers and reform the faction now and then when planets collide. The Ninja Cowboys get on their horses and come together again for another loud thrashing and a whole lot of Yee-ha especially for Pure Pacha this July!

This is set to be an indulgent aural assault- Pure Pacha style- you don’t want to miss it!

Before You Prick An English Rose

BPM MAGAZINE 2009

So there I am; in the ladies bathroom of a small bar next door to Pacha- the supposedly massive super club of London and The White Isle (we’ll get back to this)- having a little pee, as you do, when the banter of a gaggle of girls at the sink catches my ear. It’s nothing outside the usual; in their thick London accents they’re talking hair, handbags and dancing up a storm, but it’s once I’m standing outside the cubicle, waiting for my turn at the mirror, that I’m somewhat stunned to the spot.

The five ladies are adorned in what can be described as a rainbow of colour that could make only Boy George break out into a dj set; each one in a little satin frock with lashings of frill, bow and sequin that give me the same nauseous feeling I get when I’m being followed- I swear- by a women pushing a pram ridden child, screaming it’s head off, around the supermarket. (Insert random Pro-Contraceptive slogan here). My outfit, in brief; black mini, funky top and my ultimate in all night club survival; black Ugg boots, are suddenly looking very indistinct in comparison. I find myself wondering if it’s possible we’re going to the same place or did I just miss the Carnivale Night memo?

Now L-town, being one of the biggest economic monstrosities of a city on Planet Earth, is surprisingly feminine. Much of the city has been delicately crafted (to encourage tourism demand) and gleaned (to satisfy tourism demand) to graceful perfection. Old buildings and ‘typical English’ houses are the brick and cement equivalent of Lace with their engraved curly wurlys and molded roses. Well, never mind that the inside of any given one looks like a dated IKEA store catalogue- a cheap Swedish story all on its own! And the same, to some extent, is to be said for the lasses that run the place amuck- possibly right down to their ‘IKEA filled’ internal fixtures as well but without the Swedish-ness. (Did I mention the random pro-contraceptive slogan here?). And we thought South Africa had a brain drain…

Yes, the women of Britain are being flogged as English Roses to this day. This distinctly ‘English Country’ or ‘Posh Society Girl’ looks being punted by High Street designers and ‘fashion gurus’ from shameful Cable TV shows are convincing the fashionable- questionable- female public that donning a shapeless old curtain and teaming it up with a Kate-Moss-attitude, Cowboy boots and Aviators is ‘bang on trend’. And they’re getting away with this foul crime- all for the sake of selling England to the world as being the home of My Fair Lady. Personally, I’m good with holding onto a little bit of Joburg Girl Glam, thank you- as My Fair Ladies this lot is not!

English girls could very well be the thorns among the roses, in fact, when put on a global scale. Dainty dresses aside, they’re feisty and shoot from the mouth with words that would shock a Pikey, carry a pasty (if not ridiculously Oros tanned) pallor you cant help but fear (either way) and are prone to popping out illegitimate children to live a cushy-as-pins-and-needles life on The Dole. (Seriously, pro-contraceptive campaigners have invaded this space!) When it comes to going out on the town- leaving their mums to babysit?- they dominate the dancefloors of their chosen musing and set the precedent for a whole new era of Girls Gone Wild. I’ve been given much opportunity to witness this fascinating lady species in action, as in my attempt to be adventurous, and much to the tumultuous delight of my roommates and fellow party bitches, I’ve poked a toe, with them in tow, onto the dance floors of several scenes this side of the pond, to see, without the sub-genre political jousting in my earballs, where my toes actually like to jam.

As it turned out, the Loo Ladies and I did all head for the Cherry emblazoned doors after a few party starters at the local. Though famed for its legendary rosters of Thee. Worlds. Best. House. DJs. Like. Ever. (See, I told you I’d come back to it), one of my girls beat me to the Pacha punch when she yelled over the good but yes, ordinary sound system, average sized dancefloor and strangely shrined DJ box, “Is this it?”. (I even went back again a month or so later just to check and, no offence to the European tourists who feed its annual income; yes, that was it.)

At the end of the night I spotted two of the Pouffy dressed party girls looking somewhat deflated. The one, dangling her teetering stilettos from her fingertips was navigating the other, hobbling behind looking like what another mate of mine would call ‘a very dizzy donkey indeed’, towards the exit. If these are English Roses, then God save The Queen! (Pro-contraceptive campaigners thank you for reading here.)